I’ve understood the feeling of knowing for most of my life. I invite it to join me when I’m experiencing uncertainty and ask for the answers on what to do.
I’ve made many decisions like this. Which university to attend, city to move to, or whether to quit a job and go travelling. Significant life choices that have ultimately led me to meet someone, go somewhere or do something that turned the page to the next chapter of my life.
Here’s how it works. I’ll ask myself a question and see how the different answers feel in my body. ‘I take that job’...wait for a feeling… ‘I don’t take that job’...wait for a feeling. If the statement generates a feeling of expansion (usually in my chest, sometimes lower), opening or ‘sunniness’, then that option feels right. Meanwhile, tightening - akin to anxiety, or numbness usually means it isn’t.
If you know, you know. But if you’re an anti-woo woo naysayer, I’d like to introduce you to some of the science that backs this ‘gut-feeling’.
The research behind intuition
In a 1994 psychology study experiment called The Iowa Gambling Task, participants were asked to randomly select cards from various piles, which offered them either a reward or a penalty. As the test progressed, participants reported having a ‘hunch’ or ‘gut feeling’ that enabled them to pick the winning cards. This ‘intuition’ based approach to problem solving is labelled by psychologists as ‘emotion-based learning’, which is an aspect of ‘conscious awareness.’
Yet despite what this experiment has demonstrated, intuition-based decision making isn’t popular in mainstream western society. Imagine using the term ‘emotion-based learning’ in a boardroom meeting, and you’ll likely be offered some fresh air. Why? Without disregarding the association between being a woman full of emotions in a patriarchal society, the more important point here is because emotion is the antithesis of analytical. And analytical drives the modern world.
This explains the feeling I often experience - like I’m fighting with myself when trying to make a decision (hence the name of this Substack)! And it’s no wonder my therapist told me to ‘focus more on feeling and less on thinking’ during our last session. Yet another attempt to help me unlearn a lifetime of avoiding my emotions.
If you’ve ever seen the film Inside Out, you’ll understand this. If you haven’t, please watch it this weekend! As we develop from babies to adults, the unconscious mind is constantly receiving information that it stores as patterns. Your emotions are a crucial element in your processing system, as they tell the story of how you experience different events. Consider the mind a giant database, and you’re using a VLOOKUP function.
In your present moment, the unconscious mind is running the background analytics to generate insights about what might happen next. It bases these predictions on patterns of similar or different situations from the past, and their emotional consequences. Your body then shares this information with you through a physical sensation known as a somatic response - aka a hunch, aka the voice of your intuition.
Can I trust it?
One study suggests that 40% of CEOs will make decisions based on gut-instinct. They feel confident in doing so because the more times you experience something, the more accurate the intuition becomes. The analyst, the expert and the data scientist are all roles performed by our unconscious mind, which is constantly scanning for information that your conscious mind may not see.
In this way, intuition differs from instinct. Intuition extends beyond instinct’s primal physical safety response of say, being attacked by a lion (or hit by a car if you don’t live in the Savannah), due to its ability to query its database of past patterns of anything from who you date, the food you eat, or your financial decisions.
After an emotionally turbulent year, I’ve lost touch with that inner voice that makes it easier to decide which way to go. Instead of a connection to its unique frequency, I’m blasted by several radio stations at once. Each with a different message from the chatter of my mind that turns on simultaneously in a cacophony of conflicting conversations. When you watch Inside Out 2, you’ll experience this in full swing.
How to remedy the relationship with your intuition?
I didn’t need a therapist to know that I think too much. But I do need one to help identify and regulate my emotions.
Yet, what intuition feels like and how you experience may differ from person to person. To summarise, I want to share with you some of the ways I have tried to deepen this connection with myself and to re-tune in to getting help with decisions.
Human Design is a concept developed in the 80s by Ra Uru Hu, which I understood at first as a blend between Myers Briggs and astrology. No, corporate personality testing and ‘written in the stars’ didn’t align in my mind either, but an eternal curiosity to understand myself on a deeper level drew me in.
Your Human Design chart is created based on when and where you were born. Among other characteristics, I’m a ‘splenic authority.’ This means I have to trust my instant reaction to something. Don’t let my mind question or talk me out of this intuitive knowing. Move over ‘trust your gut’ and make room for the …spleen? Trust it. Act on it. And don’t sleep on it works for me. This is probably different for you though, for example you may need to sleep on it. If you’re curious, you can generate your own chart for free here.
Stop thinking
If I don’t trust that snap decision, it’s very easy to be invaded by thoughts. Each presenting its objective or subjective nuance to a decision making process, but nonetheless complicating everything. If I have a big decision that I’m ruminating on, I set a date to make a decision and don’t allow myself to think about it before then. It’s hard, but not impossible.
On the day I’ve chosen, usually as soon as I wake up, I ask myself the question ‘do I do the thing?’, and feel for what answer comes back. The instant one (for me) is the best option because I’ve not allowed my mind to start interfering with my reaction. Equally, if you have overthought something and start making plans in one direction, it’s important to listen to the pang of your little internal gong raise the alarm if it doesn’t feel right.
Finding the feeling
If you’ve ever seized up in a zumba or yoga class when they say ‘just move intuitively’, what they mean is what feels good for you. But eyes closed in a group of strangers can feel uncomfortable, so to truly start feeling and stop thinking, I take long walks alone. Preferably in nature and somewhere you can meander freely. Turn off your phone and just move. It feels awkward at first, but start in a straight line and change direction when you want. Don’t overthink it, just go.
You don’t have to be on ‘a path’, it doesn’t have to lead anywhere. But the more you connect with the feeling that invites you to change direction, the more ready you will be to trust it when the bigger answers come in time too.
